Comments on: White Ribbon Day

By: My very own wing « The Legal Soapbox

My very own wing « The Legal Soapbox — Mon, 21 May 2007 10:25:35 +0000

[...] also believe that when I decry the comments of Sheik Hilaly about rape and I support White Ribbon Day, I am expressing the same basic principle: a strong belief that women have a right to be safe and [...]

By: cherry ripe

cherry ripe — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 19:20:47 +0000

Iain,

I’ve posted something of a response to your views at

http://www.gbbw.blogspot.com

if you’re interested - it grew and became far too long for a comment here!

Cherry

By: iain

iain — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 09:54:04 +0000

Read Legal Eagle's closing paragraph again, Iain. Please.

And if you intended the provocative statement "Women who goad, nag and belittle their partners must accept some responsibility for the consequences of their actions" as merely an example of a toxic relationship dynamic, you should choose your words more wisely.

Liv
Some times when we blog we write of the top of our heads and to be honest I think that I would now enunciate my position much better than I did in my original post.(which was not intended to be provocative) However I think I have made my thoughts on this topic quite clear in subsequent comments both at my blog and at L P. I actually suspect that we are going to be seeing an increase in female violence into the future as the current generation of girls begin to pair bond .The story’s of gangs of girls terrorizing people in public is indicative of a breakdown of female inhibitions against violence since feminists have successfully challenged gender stereo-types (change can be a two edged sword). So like many others I am saying that in a time when the expectations of both genders are changing we have to approach the dynamics of pair bonding from first principles by teaching men and women how to resolve their differences with out violence and that is much bigger than blaming either side of the gender divide.

By: Liv

Liv — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 22:47:21 +0000

Iain said - “My objection to this campaign is as I have said domestic violence is a human issue and to characterize it as a male problem is to sell short all of the victims what ever their gender”

Read Legal Eagle’s closing paragraph again, Iain. Please.

And if you intended the provocative statement “Women who goad, nag and belittle their partners must accept some responsibility for the consequences of their actions” as merely an example of a toxic relationship dynamic, you should choose your words more wisely.

By: Legal Eagle

Legal Eagle — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 22:46:36 +0000

I know what you mean about toxic relationships. When I was a teenager, I would disagree with anything my Dad told me to do, just on principle. So of course, we always fought. Apparently this was a pattern which had been present from when I was very small (I’m contrasuggestible, I don’t like being told what what to do, I dig my heels in and shout NO! even if the suggestion is sensible).

It was only as an adult that I realised that Dad was entitled to the same respect for his opinion and suggestions as I would give anyone else. This totally reformed our relationship. I can’t think of the last time we had a fight.

By: iain

iain — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 22:32:57 +0000

Interesting post as usual LE. And It seems that we agree more than disagree on this issue. When I talked about nagging and goading I was not offering that as a mitigation or excuse but as an example of a toxic relationship dynamic. Sadly I saw this first hand when my brother’s second marriage was on the rocks his then wife repeatedly tried to “push his buttons” and she did not care who was watching. This is not the only example I have seen either. I Know that people do tend to repeat the relationship patterns of their own up bringing so if abuse has been the experience of their childhood that it is often revisited in both the choice of partner and the way that the dynamic works. If the pattern is good its reproduction is not a bad thing at all but no one would think that bad patterns should be repeated.
I suppose its a bit like the many stories of sexual abuse being repeated through the generations.
My objection to this campaign is as I have said domestic violence is a human issue and to characterize it as a male problem is to sell short all of the victims what ever their gender. As You can see from my later post about trying to debate the mater at L P that I also think that those who just think in Slogans are just deluded and unwilling to consider the bigger picture.

By: Swarup

Swarup — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 12:33:17 +0000

Great power given in 498A , Domestic Violenc Act,2005, they will not stop here.
Our great LAW maker forget that “we are here to build a relationship, not to break a relationship. To build a relationship we put a lot of pain , sacrifice , but to break a relationship required only two seconds !!!!! ”

Great !!So called Women liberisation of Indian Society at a cost of Killing the Institution of Marriage !!!!

Just I try to remember to Mr. Iswar Chandra BidhaSaghar , Mr. Raja Ram Mohan Roy , I don’t know if he alive today what might have his reaction towards such women Liberisation !!!

Their fight for marriage of widow , education to all Girls , Self employment ,will our Modern Supernakhas will remember or forget ??