A few people suggested on our most recent Hilaly thread that the best way to deal with the thick sheik is to take the piss out of him. It’s pretty clear the guy gets his jollies when the MSM - and bloggers, by and large - take him so seriously. To my mind, any response should be in the time honoured Australian tradition. Mockery.
Jason suggested a new Borat movie entitled Hilali: Learnings from Western-land where there are Three Genders. Legal Eagle decided to go a bit further. She’s responsible for the graphic (above), and (of course) tenders her sincere apologies to Whiskas, manufacturers of fine cat foods.
So inspired, I’d like Catallaxians and friends to come up with the best thick sheik pisstakes they can. Visual, verbal, youtube, whatever. Just be funny, then post a link/upload/let us know on this thread once you’re done. I’m happy to drop $100 into the prize pool, and if anyone else is feeling rich, all and any 
donations will be gratefully received. Catallaxy staffwriters will make the final call as to the best of the pisstakes. We’ll post the winners on our front page so that everyone gets a good giggle, and then pay prizes via paypal.
Get pisstaking, people!
UPDATE: Regular commenter JC has also decided to drop $100 into the kitty so we now have $200 to give away for the best sheik funnies.
UPDATE II: Well, yours truly got busy with the photoshopping to make Jason’s plan a reality - although I couldn’t find an appropriately Arabic looking font for the writing. Trusty Photoshop font ’sand’ stood in instead.
We’ve also received an entry from the cartoonists over at Quite Sensible. I’m putting the images up here so that people can get some sort of an idea of just how stiff the competition is getting.
UPDATE III: TimT of Will Type for Food has a selection of entries over at his place, although his personal favourite is over the fold:
80 Comments
Get your funnies on, folks!
You want to get EvilPundit involved.
I have no idea how to do photoshop but am happy for anyone to implement my idea. It’d be a gas to superimpose Sacha Baron Cohen’s face into Hilali in some way (just the thought of a Jew playing Hilali should get up his goat) and do a mock up Borat like poster.
Do you know how to track him down, CL? His blog seems to be dead. I’ve put a comment on Tim Blair’s sheik thread, but it’s 200 comments long already and I wouldn’t blame him for not noticing. There are some very funny poems over there but we’d need to see the stuff over here. I’m also hoping someone matches my donation so we can give out a few prizes.
If I could photoshop, I’d superimpose Hillali’s head on a toad and make reference to how fitting it would be to send him to one of these new “detention centres”.
Evil, are you out there?
SL,
What you should be offering is free legal representation. This competition has the potential to end in either a defamation suit, or HREOC letter (or both).
If I get enough good entries, I may even do that, Heath. I’ve given a couple of gun photoshoppers a heads-up and CL is (I hope) tracking down Evil Pundit as we speak.
If he was on a farm he would be a milksheik but I guess that is where the kurds came from.
Well, there is a fine line. We won’t be publishing any entries which are defamatory. I think all the entries so far have been pretty safe.
Wear a skaf that is Islamic freed from convict culture and is worn only because it is consensual.
Yair, it’s pretty hard to sue over a pisstake, Heath. And the best pisstakes don’t rely on defamation to be funny.
And we are all self tort.
Homer, your no 10 doesn’t even make any sense.
Jase what did our beloved Sheik say about the Skaf brothers?
Skaf=scarf
When do entries close btw?
When we get enough! I’m hoping this comp goes all around the Ozblogos, to be fair. Hilalyous has got to be dealt with, and this is the best way to do it.
look , seeing was part ofthe idea in suggesting we laugh at the idiot, i’ll contribute 100 bucks to the winner.
Jase has my email dets and I can square up with him.
The only exceptioin is that i ain’t paying up if Homer wins. That would be too hard to stomach.
it’s highly unlikely that Homer will win given his record of the last few days, JC.
Jc is as weak as water.
I am the funniest man on the blogosphere.
Why Jason Soon, Tin Blair, Mark Banisch and Steve Edwards testify to this
Alright
I won’t ban him from winning my money only because he doesn’t stand a chance.
I will give it a hell of a sheik but I won’t walk like an egyptian as pyramid schemes are banned here
Homes
you’ve been busy commenting the past few days, but I haven’t seen any references to your gods- clinton and keating.
What’s wrong, what happened?
I have just been toooooo funny.
it is ironic how ‘leftist’ parties are more market oriented than ‘rightist’ ones though
U.S. December budget surplus record $44.54 bln.
Federal deficit falls to lowest level in 4 years.
Fights three wars simultaneously, slashes deficit.
Amazing.
Thanks JC, have added an update to the post. With any sort of luck the photoshoppers will be able to come good with something over the weekend.
the question is CL why is he in deficit in the first place and if you think a stronger economy will ‘fix up’ the deficit then the Fed disagrees, mind you most economists do
if you go to Lakemba then do ont end up in Hil alley.
If you do take some pesticide as there are bad mosqueitoes
200 bucks right there.
Might I suggest food vouchers if Munn wins, by the way. He’ll only blow all the cash on VB and Passion Pop.
then you would say pop goes the weasel
damned, homer might win after all. His puns are so bad, they’re good.
only if I make the punultimate comment
Munn winning, CL?
Our resident Ted the unabomber is about as funny as, er, his hero, Ted Kaczynski. Homer has more chance of winning.
I think he recently said he’s changing his name to Ted Munn-Kacynski.
No he is in the munny
With apologies to Bill Haley and the Comets:
I said, sheik, rattle and roll, sheik, rattle and roll
Well, you wear low dresses, the sun comes shining through
I believe to my soul you’re a devil in nylon hose
Well, you won’t do right to save your doggone soul
You make me roll my eyes, Baby, make me grit my teeth
I said, sheik, rattle and roll, sheik, rattle and roll
you mean Bill Hilhaley you mean
I’m a little fat sheik,
Short and Stout
Here is my kaftan and
there is uncovered meat
Which makes me get all steamed up
and Then I shout
The land of three genders
Was Muslim first
Apologies to Play School
you must be drinking muff tea
‘you must be drinking muff tea’
That sounds kind of pornographic, Homer.
how is that Jase?
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1656.html
The slang term “muff” is widely associated by English speakers with the feminine pubic triangle.
Sheik, Sheik, Sheik, Sheik, Sheik, Sheik, Sheik your booty (which is a euphemism for uncovered flesh), Sheik your booty (see previous explanation of what booty means).
Errr, ummm, no, back to the drawing board
Of course, being on the interweb on a Saturday is only marginally less fun than going out on a date with the Sheik while wearing a mini-skirt and fuck-me boots.
“Muff tea”? The non-heterosexual part of me thinks that sounds pretty nice.
‘“Muff teaâ€? The non-heterosexual part of me thinks that sounds pretty nice. ‘
The fully heterosexual part of me likes the idea of women with non-heterosexual parts
Homer you filthy, filthy man. See how quickly your comment brought down the level of discussion?
The fully heterosexual part of me likes the idea of women with non-heterosexual parts.
?
Oh OK, I get it now.
You should invite these guys to participate. Australia’s (and probably the world’s) only Muslim satire site.
sorry I was merely making a play on tea I didn’t know of these juvenile terms
hil lalled li into a false sense of security.
He must be a businessman as has is always on about the prophet motive
I think Muslims are getting sick of the constant controversy. What is this, once, twice, three times Hilaly? (apologies to The Commodores)
Yes, I think we should blame Homer for that.
No more mention of muffs.
Ummm, Nescafe Instant Sheik: Thick, Nutty and full of it.
Hmmmmm.
To the tune of Tom Lehrer’s Oedipus Rex (and with apologies to the great man; not that he’d be reading):
“There once lived a man called Sheik Hilaly
You would have heard his odd comments
His name appears in every tabloid
Because he hates our ladies”
Oh bugger it (and in a way that the Sheik wouldn’t approve of).
I really wanted $200 so I could buy a pair of muffs.
I’ve made Jason’s suggestion a reality, and we’ve received a very nice entry from some cartoonists (pics have now been added to the post). The parodies are also starting to roll in. Keep it up, folks!
Hey, they’re both good!
SPLAT indeed!
Yep, I’ve decided that I’ll put stuff up as it comes in and then do a repost with the pick of them once we have enough entries to give out prizes.
BTW my photoshopping efforts are for display purposes only - I used to do this for a living. I’m much more interested in seeing how creative our subscribers and readers are, so keep it up!
Sorry, did I miss Hilaly saying something about their being three genders in the West?
That’s probably true (indeed some postmodern theorists would argue that gender is fluid and constructed rather than natural). I don’t think Hilaly would have been being postmodern.
I don’t get that reference.
But I like the picture, it’s fun.
Who would like to join me in starting a band called “Keysar Trad and the Sunni Sunshine Band?”
Our first (world-wide Number 1 smash) song would be called “Sheik Your Booty.” The film clip would feature Hilayly dressed as a cross between Right Said Fred and Paris Hilton shaking his booty among a menagerie of cats and pigs!
Now, THAT should get them going!
Yes Darlene - this was from his recent tirade:
“The law of Australia allows freedoms that are at times close to madness. We have a third gender of in-between people who are not female or male “…
That was a nasty thing to say about Thorpy.
Thanks, Jason. I didn’t pay much attention to it.
I hear Hilaly and tirade and I turn off.
Hmm, I just looked for further information about his comment but couldn’t find who is he referring to.
Is it queers, butch girls, femme boys, transgenders, sissies, transexuals, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, bloggers?
It’s one of those comments that is just left there to hang.
The photoshops are good.
I thought the Sheik had an agenda and now there is three of them!
He must be tradding carefully
I’m reminded of single entrende comedy “Are You Being Shagged? from The Chaser’s War on Everything.
“Oh, Mr Peacock, I’m sorry I’m late but I had some trouble with my uncovered meat, and by that I mean that I’m not wearing any knickers so my vagina got into a spot of bother when I walked past a mosque”.
I think I will leave this to the witty people. Have fun.
I’m wondering if we can do something with some traditional one liners.
Q: How many Hilalis does it to change a lightbulb?
A: None, he just gets a female kufr to do it so he can look up her skirt.
Now I just made that up, and I’m much better at photoshop than I am with one-liners (as you no doubt guessed).
“Walked pass a mosque”, that is.
Q: How many Hilalis does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None in the West you’ve got three genders so there is one and half times more electricians than there are in a Muslim state.
One liners are tough.
Sorry, said I’d leave it to the witty people. Just wanted to correct my mistake.
If this guy is looking for 72 virgins what the Hell is he doing in Australia?
Okay, that’s good. We’ve finally got a decent one-liner happening here.
I’ve posted four entries on my blog:
http://willtypeforfood.blogspot.com
I won’t link them all, just in case I get spam-binned, but here is my personal favourite.
Nice, Tim. I’ll bring one of them over here and link to the others.
Thinking on uncovered women being as irresistible as raw meat to cats … gives a whole new meaning to the football chant “come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!”.
“The most dishonest and unjust people are Western people, and the English in particular”
Well he’s got the Welsh vote then.
Picture- Hilali wearing nothing but racy women’s underwear.
Tagline- “I’m in mufti.”
“It is said in the state of zina (adultery), the responsibility falls 90 per cent of the time on the woman. Why? Because she possesses the weapon of enticement (igraa).”
There’s great YouTube potential here for a spoof of the Fatboy Slim “Weapon of Choice” video.
Okay DEM, now go off and get photoshopping. Of course, anyone else who sees these is entitled to go photoshopping, too.
We’re also interested in alternative lyrics to popular songs re-written to feature our good mate the sheik - in fact parodies and spoofs in general are always good.
Just a reminder to keep being creative on this one, folks. I’m hitting the hay now, but with any sort of luck, there’ll be a bunch more funnies here when I get up come Sunday morning.
OK - here’s my contribution. SL - decide if you want it here or want to move it around somewhere else.
(edited)
Ok, had some issue suploading the first time. here it is.
Hasn’t shown up, Heath. You may need to post a link or email me privately.
Ok, looks to have worked now - feel free to leave it here or move to the main post if you prefer.
I’ve given it a separate post, Heath - (a) because it’s good and (b) because Wordpress is starting to behave strangely every time I put a new graphic on the main post. I think there must be some post size default; the more stuff I stick in here, the weirder it gets.