Every year, British magazine The Bookseller runs a competition for the oddest book title. The winner for 2008 is “The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-milligram Containers of Fromage Frais”. It costs $795 on Amazon.
I was wondering how there could possibly be a market for a book like this, or why anyone would write it? The answer can be found on Horace Bent’s blog at The Bookseller — the author didn’t really write it:
…[T]he listed author (Professor Philip M Parker) is no expert in the field of dairy product packaging. What he is, is a genius. Or a monster, depending on your point of view. For he has invented “a method and apparatus for automated authoring and marketing”. i.e. a machine that dispenses with those inconsequential things knows [sic] as authors. According to the New York Times, he plans to use it to produce romance novels. …
…
And why did he choose to invent such a machine? Well, according to his submission to the United States Patent and Trademark Office: “There is a need for an automated system that eliminates, or substantially reduces the costs associated with human labour, such as authors, editors…” However, given that fromage frais comes in 60-gram containers (NOT milli-gram), a copy editor would have been quite useful when it came to the text, one observes.
The New York Times notes that Philip M Parker has written 200,000 books in this way.
“Baboon Metaphysics” came second, followed by “Curbside Consultation of the Colon” in third place. Fourth place went to “Strip and Knit with Style“, followed by “The Large Sieve and its Applications” (sounds like it’s a mathematical sieve, not a real one) and “Techniques for Corrosion Monitoring“.
Actually (and I’m really serious here) that Baboon Metaphysics looks pretty interesting. It’s a study of the self-awareness of baboons, recounting the behaviour of a clan of baboons in Botswana. The social relations of those baboons have all the elements of a great soap opera (or a work of literature).
Past awards have found some truly bizarre titles:
- If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start with Your Legs (2007 winner)
- Reusing Old Graves (1994 winner)
- Highlights in the History of Concrete (1995 winner)
- High Performance Stiffened Structures (2000 winner)
- Living with Crazy Buttocks (2002 winner – I actually have this book)
- I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen (2007 contender)
- Cheese Problems Solved (2007 contender)
- Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers
(1996 winner and winner of oddest title for past 30 years) - People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead (2005 winner)
- How to Avoid Huge Ships (1992 winner)
- Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice (winner of the first award in 1978)
- Bombproof Your Horse (2004 winner)
- The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories (2003 winner – are the horses lesbians? or are the horse riders lesbians??)
- What do Socks do? (1982 contender)
- Japanese Chins (1993 contender)
- Egg Banjos from Around the World (1996 contender)
(There’s a full list here of all the winners and some honourable mentions here).
Hmm, if I ever publish my PhD thesis, I should think up a really strange title in an effort to get onto this list…
Update:
I just couldn’t help finding out what an “egg banjo” was – apparently it’s an egg sandwich, not a musical instrument.
16 Comments
The most off-putting title of a book I’ve actually read (well, listened to on a long driving holiday) and loved to bits is Marina Lewycka’s “A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian”. It’s been a huge international success and made Ms Lewycka a bucket of money. The audio version is a total joy. Laugh I could have cried.
I love the fact too that it was her first novel and had been rejected 36 times before being published in 2006 at the grand age of 58.
A friend was recommending that one to me – she has an Eastern European background and said it was pretty close to the truth sometimes. Anyway, I must borrow it from her.
Then we got into discussing strange Soviet names – apparently her grandmother has a friend called “Electricity” or something of the sort. My favourite Soviet name is Dazdrapertrak for Da Zdravstvuet Pervy Traktor (‘Hail The First Tractor!’)
If I saw ‘Highlights in the history of concrete’ on the bookshelf, I would grab it in a second. I love that title.
Posey, it’s nice to read that 58 is a grand age. I’ll reach it in about 9 weeks, and I’m not convinced.
Strip and knit with style? Why, when there are now such wonderful yarns of every hue and compostition available on teh internetz, would you strip up old fabric to re-use? Cheaper, I suppose.
M-H, I had to agree re the knitting one – there’s so many lovely yarns out there. But I still haven’t finished the cardie I half knitted when I was pregnant with my daughter – it was a very complicated lacy knit, and I don’t think I have the time or patience for it with two kids now. Perhaps I should unravel it and make something a little less complex – knitting that lacy thing wasn’t very relaxing, whereas simple knitting is almost like meditating sometimes.
Tim T, you and my hubby would get along well – he said he would not be able to resist getting the concrete one, or the one about the history of marmalade. Hey – I’ve got an awesome idea for a book – the history of concrete AND marmalade…
I used to insist at uni that I was going to some day write a book and call it ‘The Mystical Significance of Chess’. Not because I knew what it meant, just because I’d love to come across a book with that title in the gigantic university library.
LE, I do knit lace, but only when I’m on holiday. I have a range of projects on the go at any one time: simple things like socks or plain garments for evenings when I’m tired, taking to appointments which will require waiting, etc, and slightly more complex things for other times. And usually one thing in lace for holidays. I knit to relax, not to get irritated and have to do things two or three times over to get them right.
M-H, I think that’s a good idea – knitting for different times. And I will unravel that lacy thing – realistically I’m never going to have a calm moment to concentrate for the next few years…!!!
Some time ago I purchased a book from the great sale (Rotary) in Armidale NSW as a birthday gift for a friend who is world weary.
“Advice and hints on Safety of Deep Sea Diving at North Sea Oil platforms;Issues and Cautions”
He thought it was the most thoughtful gift he had ever been given, for his turning seventy.
Lang I love it!
I once saw a book in a second hand book shop called: “How to Make a Jewish Movie with Kirk Douglas, John Wayne, Frank Sinatra, Yul Brynner, Angie Dickinson, Senta Berger, Five Million Dollars, and the Israeli Army.” I regret not buying it.
I can recommend the book Rubbish Theory”.
I kept on my office bookshop a discussion point when the latest management guru came round.
It also develops a good theory on why art museums exist.
Terry, that sounds awesome. So many interesting books out there, with such intriguing or odd titles!
And how is the PhD coming along … and have you a preliminary title?
PhD has about a year to go – so far it has a really boring title – something like “Theoretical and Practical approaches to Gain-Based Relief”
The seminal case involves a spy – surely I can get something juicy out of that?