Bottle Rockets in unmentionable places

By Legal Eagle

Lowering the Bar has a post detailing a negligence claim against the Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity and one of its drunken frat boy members. Shortly, the plaintiff was injured after the drunken ATO member attempted to fire a bottle rocket out of his backside, but it exploded instead, startling the plaintiff, who fell off an unrailed deck and injured himself. Don’t believe me? Go check out the complaint here.

I’ve never heard of “bottle rockets” before. I thought initially it was a rocket made out of a soft drink bottle (and was somewhat mystified as to how this could be launched from one’s bottom? or explode?) but I’m presuming here it is used to mean any kind of small-scale skyrocket attached to a stick.

As Lowering the Bar notes, the claim does not detail whether the drunken frat boy was himself injured by his activity. One presumes that surely he was a little burned? Yowch.

9 Comments

  1. conrad
    Posted February 6, 2012 at 5:03 pm | Permalink

    I’m glad we don’t have all this fraternity crap in Australia.

  2. Posted February 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm | Permalink

    Fraternity crap being taken to literal levels, too, if not being sent into orbit. You have to love Darwin when you read stories like this.

  3. Posted February 6, 2012 at 10:48 pm | Permalink

    They may be on shakier ground here:

    18. [Defendant] also owed plaintiff … a duty of care not to drink under age, or to file bottle rockets out of his anus.

    19. [Defendant] breached this duty when he both drank under age … and attempted to fire a bottle rocket out of his anus while under the influence. The act of firing a bottle rocket, within Huntington City Limits, was also a crime.

    The rocket manufacturers usually only provide ADVICE on the ‘proper’ use of their products, so does a duty of care not to launch fireworks rectally, exist? Not so much “enquiring minds” as boggled ones, wish to know…

  4. Posted February 6, 2012 at 10:55 pm | Permalink

    Dumb and Dumber. For reals.

  5. kvd
    Posted February 7, 2012 at 4:48 am | Permalink

    Thank the gods that the defendant (? that’s what it says) wasn’t an IVF baby – otherwise he could sue his doctors for providing him with a ‘not fit for purpose’ anus.

    Also I find it hard to see how exploding one’s bottom causes one to “jump back”? I think they’ve got their facts arse about.

  6. paul walter
    Posted February 7, 2012 at 5:52 am | Permalink

    Preppies hang together – the worst example in Adelaide came some years back when a group of them beat a pleb, to an irrecoverable pulp or to death – not sure which – and were handled tenderly by the courts for this infraction, on the basis that incarceration would prevent them from finishing their studies. But preppie behaviour is only a manifestation of youthful behaviours also exhibited amongst the wider community; the great unwashed, as was evidenced by the Cronulla ethnic clashes.

    It is characterised by a fascination with the fundament and remains the likely source for Freud’s description of middle class young men as “anal-retentive”. We see in the case a literal example of this with the young frat-rat with a coke bottle wedged up his butt in order to fire a rocket, a sort of revisiting of Neanderthal times, when ape like creatures first experimented with impelled weapons.

    Look, my solution would be, send ALL young people to Woomera, Manus Island or Curtain from about age fifteen till about thirty, when they finally grow out of it.

  7. Adrien
    Posted February 7, 2012 at 2:11 pm | Permalink

    Awww man. When I read about this stuff I become a Darwinian Tory.

    This guy shouldn’t be prohibited by the authorities for (yet again) depositing combustible materials up his cracker. He should be encouraged. People this stupid and vulgar have no business reproducing themselves 🙂

  8. Philip Crowley
    Posted February 10, 2012 at 9:59 am | Permalink

    This is how idiotic these guys are.

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