Those Family Stickers

By Legal Eagle

We have a trend here in Australia of family stickers on the rear of cars. I don’t know if our English readers have a similar phenomenon? I see from this Salon article that they have a similar trend in the US. If you don’t know what the heck I’m talking about, here’s an illustration:

I don’t have any such stickers on my own car. They’re not really my kind of thing. I don’t know why, but they irritate me somehow. But my response to these stickers has not been nearly as violent as some. I’ve seen cars with stick family members hanging from nooses, decapitated, or lying shot, all with captions which consist of variations on “I don’t give a [email protected]#k about your family.”

There have also been some rather cute variations on the theme (Star Wars characters and Doctor Who characters) – if I ever had such stickers, those are the ones I’d have.

Anyway, being a morbid kind of individual, I was stuck in traffic behind one of these cars, and I began to think – what do you do if, for example, your cat dies? Do you have to scrape the cat off the car windscreen with a stanley knife and leave a messy, sticky, grief-ridden patch? Do you get a little sticker of a gravestone and stick it over the cat?

And then I thought, what do you do with such stickers if you get divorced? Speak of the devil…the other day I saw this sticker on the back of a car.

Two of the female figures have large red crosses through them and the word “divorced” written underneath. I can’t quite work it out. Is he saying he’s divorced twice, and now married to his third wife? Or is he saying that his wife left him and took his daughter, and now he has a new girlfriend? I think it’s the former. Hmm. Theories welcome.

17 Comments

  1. Kerryn Goldsworthy
    Posted September 4, 2012 at 6:41 am | Permalink

    I think it’s the former, too. Someone saw a niche and marketed those red circles with ‘divorced’ underneath and he saw them on sale and couldn’t resist. I assume the people who deface them are people who find them smug, because they hate their own families or haven’t got any. I think the stickers are kind of sweet, but they remind me of the intertubes in that they enable the impulse to share one’s private life, which can be irresistible but makes one vulnerable to predators of various kinds. Those stickers don’t irritate me half as much as ‘Baby On Board’ signs, which seem to be telling other drivers that they must drive with care, much in the manner of mothers with prams and pushers who expect everyone else to get out of their way. My usual muttered response is ‘Well if you’ve got a baby on board then you’d better drive really really carefully yourself, hadn’t you.’

  2. Posted September 4, 2012 at 7:16 am | Permalink

    Those stickers don’t irritate me half as much as ‘Baby On Board’ signs, which seem to be telling other drivers that they must drive with care, much in the manner of mothers with prams and pushers who expect everyone else to get out of their way. My usual muttered response is ‘Well if you’ve got a baby on board then you’d better drive really really carefully yourself, hadn’t you.’

    A 1000 times yes to this. Fortunately neither variety has made its way across the pond from the US.

    That said, the stick figures strike me as merely twee, while the ‘Baby on Board’ signs and truck prams that would do credit to an Israeli tank commander in the Sinai really are sick-making.

  3. Posted September 4, 2012 at 8:14 am | Permalink

    A comedian at the Global Atheist Convention in Melbourne referred to these as ‘bogan hieroglyphics’.

  4. Posted September 4, 2012 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

    I always thought the Baby On Board signs were about trying to make drivers think twice about driving recklessly around the car (through more of a guilt trip, than any sort of rational implication), hence they’re usually shaped as a warning street sign (yellow diamond). The stick figures on the other hand just seem to be to be equivalent to a bumper sticker that says “It’s all about meeee!”

  5. Posted September 4, 2012 at 12:08 pm | Permalink

    And I initially read the red text in the second picture as “deceased” which seemed rather morbid.

  6. kvd
    Posted September 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

    A couple of weeks ago my daughter was side-rammed by a drunk who ignored a red light. My just turned 3 granddaughter, and her about to turn 1 sister, along with my daughter were unhurt but both cars went to the car graveyard. I’m quite sure that her baby on board yellow sign did not assist on iota in that instance, but I for one excuse people out on the open road moving at less than the speed limit if I see one of those.

    And as far as I’m concerned, if it lessens any road frustration on the part of other drivers, then I see no harm in them.

  7. Ripples
    Posted September 4, 2012 at 12:58 pm | Permalink

    I have to admit to having the stickers on my car in abundance. I am a bit of an adventure activity addict so rather than having just one sticker for me doing something I have 7 picturing such things as archery, bike riding, martial arts etc.
    So technically I have a “me, me, me” sticker collection which could be construed as either narcissistic or possibly some type of multiple personality.
    Then living in my quite little redneck wonderland I get picked on more for having a “girlie” car so the stickers mainly rub their noses in my lack of perceived manliness.
    The main issue I always had with “Baby on Board” is the idea that if they are to advise emergency services of a baby being on board then take it down when baby isn’t on board.

  8. Kerryn Goldsworthy
    Posted September 4, 2012 at 5:32 pm | Permalink

    ‘I for one excuse people out on the open road moving at less than the speed limit if I see one of those.’

    Now that is a very good point. If I see one on the open road I’ll bear it in mind.

  9. Posted September 4, 2012 at 9:10 pm | Permalink

    Kerryn, you’ve got two gravatars – how did you do that? [I like the tortoiseshell cat one, FWIW.]

  10. Ripples
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 7:34 am | Permalink

    LE, identical quadruplets, perish the thought, one Ripples has been considered too many by some, lol.
    My stickers aren’t in line of sight; they are on the rear side window which I don’t look out. I seriously can’t handle any window obstruction. The size of the window pillar was factored into the purchase of the vehicle to ensure the greatest range of vision. We don’t call it OCD anymore; it’s CDO as the letters should be in proper alphabetical order.

  11. Kerryn Goldsworthy
    Posted September 6, 2012 at 7:26 am | Permalink

    SL: two different email addresses! The kitty should come up this time.

  12. Posted September 7, 2012 at 1:42 am | Permalink

    It has!

  13. Thomas Buckingham
    Posted September 7, 2012 at 12:33 pm | Permalink

    Relevant (poor taste notwithstanding): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv-0Sr-BV5A

  14. Jem
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 8:23 pm | Permalink

    I finally saw some “my family” stickers that actually looked good. https://twitter.com/badgerhunt/status/242091057565802496/photo/1

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