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Category Archives: Sport

Trenton! Trenton! Jesus Christ, Trenton!

With the awful inevitability of a dog chasing deer into oncoming traffic in Richmond Park, I present to you Trenton Oldfield (Hell’s bells, the names even rhyme), Australia’s shame. Yesterday, Trenton Oldfield did this at the Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race: First, Sir Matthew Pinsent, the former Olympic rower, thought he saw debris in the water. Then, [...]

Eye Candy du Mer

Photographer Mark Tipple uses an underwater camera to capture the “battle” between man and the power of ocean waves in Australia. His book, called the Underwater Project, shows surfers, bodyboarders and swimmers diving below the surf to avoid being pounded. The Telegraph has two galleries of Mark Tipple’s work, or you can go to THE [...]

‘Michael Clarke is not a tosser’

In November 2009, Paul Kent wrote this (among other nastiness) about Australian cricket captain Michael Clarke: His problem is a little more delicate. Michael Clarke is a tosser. Or, to give him an out clause, he appears to be a tosser. He might actually be an OK bloke, but how are we to ever know when all [...]

This is a paid presentation by professional proctologists…

INDEPENDENT MP Andrew Wilkie and independent senator Nick Xenophon have welcomed the media regulator’s investigation into whether the Nine Network breached its licence conditions after its rugby league commentators attacked proposed poker machine reforms during a broadcast. The Australian Communications and Media Authority investigation comes amid growing evidence that the supposedly off-the-cuff comments were planned, [...]

Trippy Skippy

Australian wallabies are eating opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around “as high as a kite”, a government official has said. Lara Giddings, the attorney general for the island state of Tasmania, said the kangaroo-like marsupials were getting into poppy fields grown for medicine. She was reporting to a parliamentary hearing on [...]

Cute and Fluffy, Not

Swansea City – a very minor soccer club in an even more minor city where I once had the misfortune to live for several years – have been promoted to the Premier League. God help the premiership. May I introduce to you: Cyril, the Swan. In February 2001, Cyril the Swan of Swansea City, the [...]

Thelwell Redux

A 15-year-old girl denied a horse from her parents has turned to a cow to fulfill her riding dreams. Hours of training, cajoling and tons of treats have resulted in Luna the cow able to jump over makeshift hurdles of beer crates and painted logs. “She thinks she’s a horse,” said Regina Mayer, from Laufen, [...]

Paradise Drowned

Among the startling images emerging from Queensland’s south-east, the sight of the iconic Suncorp Stadium ground covered by murky flood water was just another reason for heads to shake in wonder. Its freshly laid turf, completed after concerts by U2 and Bon Jovi last month, is ruined. Of course, that damage pales into insignificance when [...]

Bass Strait, Dire Straights

Eye-candy du jour… A competitor in the 66th Sydney to Hobart yacht race heads towards a storm cloud. This year’s ocean race has been hit by thunderstorms and hail, but only one boat has withdrawn. Photo by Carlo Borlenghi, as seen in The Guardian